Wikipedia Historyby WCS ’11

After reading an entire Wikipedia article, I have reproduced this famous scene from the William McKinley administration.

-President McKinley, have you signed the Hawaiian Territorial Annexation Act of 1898 yet?
-What’s today? July 6th, 1898? I think I’ll sign it today.
-If you have any legal questions, we can run them by attorney general John W. Griggs.
-I thought the attorney general was Joseph McKenna.
-He was. But then you appointed him to the Supreme Court on January 25th.
-Oh, I forgot. I’m famously forgetful. Ever since I was a child in Niles, Ohio.
-That’s OK, Major. Your nickname is Major.
-You know, lately I’ve been preoccupied thinking about the Dingley Tariff of 1897. I have a feeling that some historians will call it the defining accomplishment of my first term.
-But what about the Civil Service Reform Act of 1898?
-What about it?
-I’d say it amounted to an effective reorganization of several cabinet level departments, including but not limited to the Department of War and the Department of the Interior. Am I right or am I right?
-I know Speaker of the House Thomas Bracket would say so!
-(laughs) That is quite the ironic statement, since Speaker Bracket actually led Congressional opposition to that bill.
-Yes. He did.
-…
-…
-President McKinley, I have a rather personal question… Do you think…do you think that our nation’s currency should be pegged in value to a fixed quantity of gold?
-It sounds like you are talking about the gold standard. The gold standard has been in place since 1873. The gold standard is very important to me.
-I see.
-OK, now I’m gonna go do the Spanish-American War.
-You truly are the best twenty-fifth President this nation could have asked for.
-You really mean it?
-Of course. One day they’ll name mountains after you. Tall ones, in Alaska.
-What’s Alaska?
-It’s a territory, not a state. Yet.