Superstitious
How I became so superstitious:
Me: (breaks mirror)
Storeowner: That will be twenty dollars, please.
Me: Oh my God…so it begins.
Jim Carrey Being Introduced at the VH1 Movie Awards
-Ladies and gentleman, it is pleasure to introduce...it is a pleasure. It—it is a great pleasure to...(laughing) Jim, stop—stop doing that.
[Jim Carrey’s face appears ...
The Too Cool Club
Hey Gang! Here’s the rundown: my house, 7:30pm, the first meeting of the Too Cool Club. My mom will cook up some mozzarella sticks and we can talk ...
Oedipus Complex
According to Freudian theory, all boys unconsciously desire to murder their fathers and sleep with their mothers.
– Listen, son. I know what you’re going through.
– Dad what are you talking about?
– Your mother. I felt the same way about my mammy when I was your age.
– Not this again.
– I’m not angry. Your mother is very desirable. A busty woman.
– Jesus, Dad. This was gross when I was ten. I have a family now.
– I’ll bet you want to squeeze them. Bat ‘em around a bit. We Freuds love to squeeze.
– Ok kids, time for grandpa’s nap.
– You’ll never murder me! I am immortal.
| Elevator Manual | At a Wedding |
| Sexual Harassment Memo | Sweet Sixteen Speech |
| Karoake | Heat Gear |
| Steve Loves Doritos | The Diary of Francisco Pizarro |
| The Athenian Assembly | Klansman |
