The Clarionby OTLB ’13

Tired of getting the reach-around from Washington? The Clarion is here to liberate the mind, body, and soul...and it might just get you thinking too. (1 year subscription: $49.99)

Conservative, liberal—what’s the difference? Aren’t we all Americans? Aren’t all senators technically congressmen, and vice versa? When will we allow women the right?

Politicians need to get their heads out of their asses. Every morning when you turn on C-SPAN it’s always “bill” this and “congressman sir” that. Take a hint, D.C.: we don’t want any more bills. American families are sitting around at the kitchen table, trying to figure out how to pay the bills. The Clarion could give two fucks about the “Insider’s Perspective.” Our Washington Bureau is located in Canada.

Sick of cable news pundits bombarding you with hot air? Maybe this instant gratification 24/7 culture is getting a little out of hand. Maybe the best way to get your news is a week late. (3 year subscription: $12.78.)

The Clarion is not available as a magazine anymore, so if you pick it up at a newsstand throw it away in a garbage can or some other kind of waste box. It’s not ours. Stop sending us mail about this, the post office is going to charge us money if we get any more mail.