Sweet Sixteen Speech
My Speech for Tonight
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen. It seems like only yesterday that my daughter was ...
The Dating Team
When I got to high school, I tried out for and made the school’s Varsity Dating Team. I had tried out for the middle school team all three years ...
Mars and Venus
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where is all this fucking going on?
Yogi Berra
Throughout his career, Hall of Famer Yogi Berra coined a number of famous sayings. Here are some of his least famous:
“They don’t call it baseball because it’s easy. They call it baseball because you play it with a ball and you can’t use your feet.”
“It’s like déjà vu all over the place.”
“For every pitcher with a mean slider or a vicious curve, there are three others who have never played baseball before.”
“Nobody goes there anymore. The new owners are Korean.”
“If you come to a fork in the road, kill yourself.”
| Hangman Game in Communist China | Martian Invasion |
| Sexual Harassment Memo | Pokémon |
| Bitch-Seat for XBOX | The Diary of Francisco Pizarro |
| Steve Loves Doritos | Euros |
| Math Problems | Cybering |
