Sudokuby RIP ’09

- Mind helping me with this fiendish sudoku?
- Not a problem. Let’s see . . . you can put a 9 there.
- Here? I can’t because of this other 9 here.
- Sure you can. Just write it.
- No, look. There’s a 9 already in this column.
- That’s fine. Put another 9 there with it.
- I can’t do that. It’s against the rules.
- What are you talking about? Just put a 9 there. No big deal.
- I can’t. You can’t put down a 9 if there’s already a 9 in the same column or row or grid.
- Says who? I can do that. I have done that, many times.
- What kind of sudoku have you been playing?
- This kind. Where you write numbers in boxes.
- Okay, well how do you decide what number to put?
- I don’t know. I just do it. Like if I want to put a 9 then I’ll put down a 9. No big deal.
- But that’s not a challenge.
- Who said anything about a challenge? It’s fun. It’s just me having a fun time.
- It’s not fun if you can put down anything.
- That’s what makes it fun, putting down anything. You wouldn’t understand.
- Oh I wouldn’t understand?
- Yeah, you wouldn’t understand! Okay? You wouldn’t get it! I mean, look at you. You’ve got everything. You’ve got your wife and your kids and your good job, and you’ve got all this happiness. But me, and my life, aren’t like that. I’m still trying to find my way. You know? I’m still trying to get mine. So I don’t think it’s such a big deal if from time to time I want to open up a sudoku book and put numbers in boxes, and whatever numbers I want, and however many I want of them. You know? An 8 with an 8. A bunch of 2s. It doesn’t matter! All that matters is that I choose, me and no man else. And when I’m there, in that moment, I feel like I can be more than me . . . more than who I am. That’s what you wouldn’t understand.
- Is everything alright with you?
- No, it isn’t. I fell and hit my head and now I’m a retard.