Family Photoby BUS ’10–’11

Ok everyone, I want you to line up in height order. This is going to be so cute! Tall people in the back, and maybe rest your chins on the shorter people. Oh that is precious! Ben, put your chin on your sister’s head. Ok great. Ladies, smooth your dresses and clasp your hands behind your backs. Dad, hold this magnifying glass like a detective.

Alright, we’re going to do one more, but this time I want you to sit in a semicircle around Grandma and Grandpa. Happy anniversary, you guys! Everyone stare intently at them, but smile like you’ve just had a piece of pie. I’ll need you to smear this jam on your lips.

This one is going to be a little trickier. I want to get a shot of everyone jumping for joy, lined up in alphabetical order by last name. Most of us have the same last name, so let’s also line up in weight order. No Gabe, you’re a little guy—go to the left side, with the dog. Margie, you’re going to want to be all the way to the right. The far right. Everyone jump on the count of three as soon as Margie gets to her spot.

Is there time for one of just the guys shaking hands? Come around to the other side so we get the sun hitting the lake behind you. Now squat way down so you get a light-halo. Come on, I’ve seen you squat more than that! You should be straining your legs. Perfect, now shake. And remember, do it like you’re complete strangers.

This is going to be a goofy one, so I hope everyone has their rubber chickens and electric hand buzzers. I’m kidding of course; we’ll bring out the props in a few minutes. How about we get one cousin lying across all the other cousins? Don’t forget to stick out your tongues! Now everyone wave your hands, but not at the camera. Act as though there is a camera in the sky and it’s hurtling towards you like a meteor.

I’ve arranged these ladders into a tableau. Everyone find a rung and pose as if this is the first time you’ve ever breathed pure oxygen.