Career Dayby BWKS ’12

So, for this year’s Career Day, I’ve brought in my mom, or as you guys may know her, Ms. Jameson, our fifth period math teacher:

---

So, the first question you might be asking yourself is: how do you become a math teacher? Well, there are two basic schools of thought. The first believes that you should go to college, get a teaching degree, and then begin your life as an educator. The second recommends getting knocked up at sixteen, dropping out of school, stealing the identity of a teacher and starting your life anew. I’m not going to stand here and say one is better than the other. I’m not here to moralize.

Okay, so you’ve become a math teacher, now you have to learn some math, right? Again, two schools of thought. The first would, yes, wholeheartedly recommend—if not mandate—that you do have a formal math background. The other ideology, on the other hand, believes that a random number generator is a perfectly legitimate grading tool. If your internet is down and using a random number generator is no longer feasible, then a word association that eventually ends in a number is also acceptable.

I’m seeing some confused faces… Do we need to do an example? Okay, let’s do Bridgett. Hmm, let’s see… Stupid, because she does poorly on all her exams. Mistake. Child. Pregnant. Sixteen. And then that’s her score. A sixteen. Does that clear things up? Okay, let’s move on. You’re probably thinking: teaching is great because you don’t have to work over the summer. I used to think the same thing. Turns out that when you have a wet blanket of a son who is completely dependent on you, then you have no time to enjoy yourself.

I’m seeing more confused faces. Let’s try explaining this in terms you’ll understand. Your parents give you a doll when you’re only a year old. So, you’re way too young to provide proper care for this doll, but you end up keeping it anyways. Then it turns out that this doll is very demanding yet you still have to raise it alone. And this doll, it often cries for no apparent reason and won’t grow out of this awkward phase where it narrates the lives of its pets. So… yeah. Does that make sense now? A little bit?