Floor Dude
Everyone likes going to parties, but if you want to be successful at them, you’ve got to go in with a strategy. And these days, one of the best ...
The Too Cool Club
Hey Gang! Here’s the rundown: my house, 7:30pm, the first meeting of the Too Cool Club. My mom will cook up some mozzarella sticks and we can talk ...
Top Amusement Park Rides, 1930
The Shaking Box
Spinning around
Sound pictures
Popped Corn
A Time to Die
Gerald: I think it’s time, Doc.
Vet: Well, yes it is. Sparky is due for his rabies shot.
Gerald: No, not the rabies shot.
Vet: The canine leukemia shot?
Gerald: We need to put him down.
Vet: But your dog— he’s only 4 years old. And so healthy.
Gerald: He’s seen better days.
Vet: I don’t know that I can do this in good conscience. Your dog could be winning dog shows. He could be one of those TV dogs. He is amazing.
Sparky: [looks up from his copy of The Count of Monte Cristo Arf!
Gerald: Listen, Doc. I’m going to level with you.
Vet: Please do.
Gerald: I’m not long for this world. The doctors say I’ve only got a couple months.
Vet: Oh jeez. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize—
Gerald: Yeah, well... I’m not going to be able to take care of Sparky after I’m gone.
Vet: Don’t you have any friends or relatives that could?
Gerald: I’m not sure Sparky would take to them. He hates strangers.
Sparky: [completing a puzzle with two babies] Arf! Arf!
Vet: When I became a vet, I took an oath to protect animals. I can’t just—
Gerald: I need you to kill my dog.
Vet: But... but... you’re sure you’re going to die?
Gerald: Pretty sure.
Vet: [filling needle with poison] What a waste...
Gerald: I’m afraid he’ll try to eat me after I die.
| Headhunter | Script Summaries |
| Steve Loves Doritos | Paternity Test |
| Henry Frick | The Clarion |
| Motown | Warren Buffett |
| Apathetic Jim | First World Problems |
