INTERNS WANTED AT LA PRODUCTION STUDIO
Are you an intern? Do you have experience? Congratulations from all of us over here. Now come to our production studio on the corner of W 6th Street and S ...
Nice Jacket
Ever since Billy got his new brown leather jacket, his life has been turned upside down.
Teacher: Anyone know the answer?
(Billy raises his hand)
Teacher: Yes, the brown jacket ...
Marriage Proposal
Man: There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now.
Woman: Yes?
Man: Um . . . ha, okay. This is really nerve-racking. I’m really nervous.
Woman ...
On a Deathbed
Grandfather: I love you, son.
Man: I love you, dad. I love you so much. Please just stay with me.
Grandfather: I want you to remember me by these final words.
Man: Don’t talk like that! Please, everything will be fine—
Grandfather: Chester! I’ve been holed up in this infirmary for one whole year now, and for one whole year I’ve thought about these words. Words to sum up a man’s life. Please. Heed your ailing papa.
Man: Papa . . . okay. Of course I’ll listen.
Grandfather: Come closer.
Man: Okay.
Grandfather: Put your ear to my lips.
Man: Okay.
Grandfather (whispering): A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Man: Go on.
Grandfather: That’s it. Do you want me to repeat it? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Man: A bird in the hand—
Grandfather: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. You’ve got it.
Man: Like the expression.
Grandfather: No. I came up with it.
Man: It’s an expression.
Grandfather: No it isn’t.
Man: Yes it is.
Grandfather: No it isn’t. (dies)
