Losing the ability to create new memories can take its toll on a person. Observe how one individual afflicted with anterograde amnesia deals with a common activity: picking up girls.
LEONARD: Hi, I’m Leonard.
BETTY: Betty.
LEONARD: Pretty nuts scene here.
BETTY: Yeah. So fun.
LEONARD: What’s your name?
BETTY: What?
LEONARD: Just kidding. Betty, right?
BETTY: Yeah. (laughs)
LEONARD: I have this condition.
BETTY: Yeah, I overheard you at the bar.
LEONARD: Cool.
BETTY: What’s the condition like?
LEONARD: Hi, I’m Leonard.
BETTY: Did your memory just reset?
LEONARD: Just kidding. It hasn’t reset yet.
BETTY: How long does it last for?
LEONARD: About 3 weeks.
BETTY: Oh.
LEONARD: What’s your name? Just ...
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CITIZEN 1: We shall now vote on Demetrios’ right to residence within the city.
CITIZEN 2: All in favor say yea? All opposed, nay?
CITIZEN 1: Yes.
CITIZEN 2: Got it. Let’s proceed.
CITIZEN 1: Yea.
CITIZEN 2: Nay.
CITIZEN 3: Nay.
CITIZEN 4: Yea.
CITIZEN 5: Yea.
CITIZEN 6: Nay.
CITIZEN 7: Nay.
CITIZEN 8: Nay.
CITIZEN 9: Nay.
CITIZEN 10: Yea.
CITIZEN 11: Yea.
CITIZEN 12: Nay.
CITIZEN 13: Nay.
CITIZEN 14: Yea.
CITIZEN 15: Yea.
CITIZEN 16: Nay.
CITIZEN 17: Yea.
CITIZEN 18: Nay.
CITIZEN 19: Nay.
CITIZEN 20: Yea.
CITIZEN 21: Yea.
CITIZEN 22: Nay.
CITIZEN 23: Nay.
CITIZEN 24: Yea.
CITIZEN 25: Yea.
CITIZEN 26: Nay.
CITIZEN 27: Yea.
CITIZEN 28: Nay.
CITIZEN 29 ...
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What’s this gigantic, plastic rifle in my hand, you ask? Come on man. Didn’t you see the logo? It’s the Gooze Blaster 4500, the latest in Jamgear’s new line of super soakers.
Check out the blaster’s shell. The lightweight frame makes blasting possible in any arena. Blast in your backyard or blast your sister in her bedroom. She’s putting on makeup, wearing dresses and boom—you just goozed her in the eye. Now that’ll leave a mark!
With a clear body for total gooze visibility and a custom handle for targeting, the Gooze Blaster 4500 is a blast. But don’t take my word for it. Try it out with our 2-week trial ...
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It’s not easy having a conjoined twin that’s deaf-mute.
At a Job Interview
ME: Hey, I’m Josh and this is my Siamese twin Fred. We’re applying for the position in accounting.
INTERVIEWER: Does he talk?
ME: Fred isn’t able to speak, but he’s one hell of a number cruncher! So how long have you worked here?
INTERVIEWER: What, is he retarded or something?
ME: No. Deaf-mute.
INTERVIEWER: Oh my God. He just blinked.
In a Bedroom
RACHEL: I’ve never dated a twin before. It’s so… it’s…
ME: Are you okay? You seem bothered by something.
RACHEL: Your brother is watching us.
ME: (laughs) Don’t mind Fred. He’ll stop once ...
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