The Clarion

Tired of getting the reach-around from Washington? The Clarion is here to liberate the mind, body, and soul...and it might just get you thinking too. (1 year subscription: $49.99)

Conservative, liberal—what’s the difference? Aren’t we all Americans? Aren’t all senators technically congressmen, and vice versa? When will we allow women the right?

Politicians need to get their heads out of their asses. Every morning when you turn on C-SPAN it’s always “bill” this and “congressman sir” that. Take a hint, D.C.: we don’t want any more bills. American families are sitting around at the kitchen table, trying to figure out how to pay the bills. The Clarion could give two fucks ...

Dodo Extinction

—Look at this ugly bird! I captured every one in existence.
—Can I breed some for my zoo of boring animals?
—No thanks. I think I’m going to throw them in a big hole instead.