Warren Buffett is a billionaire investor known for his thrifty lifestyle. Unlike some of America’s super rich, who split time between homes in Palm Beach and Aspen, Buffett lives modestly. This reporter journeyed to Buffett’s home in Omaha, Nebraska, to spend some time with America’s favorite moneyed man.
Buffett, not a driver or assistant, picks me up from the airport when I arrive. He drives a rust-stained 1989 Ford sedan. I tell him the car makes sense for a man made famous by his long-term investment strategies. “Nope. Just bought it this morning. I flipped my other car, a Hyundai, for this one. Made a quick five.” Thousand? “Just five.” Buffett—drenched in billions—is not too ...
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STUDENT: Professor Jones, did you get a chance to grade our papers this weekend?
JONES: [Glances at the Pharaoh’s Diamond in his pocket and smiles] No, I…I didn’t have the time.
STUDENT: [Whispering to classmate] This guy sucks.
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GOD: What’s the latest?
MOSES: Same as before. The Pharaoh won’t let us go.
GOD: What about the plague? Did he say anything about how I turned the Nile into a river of blood?
MOSES: Yeah, he mentioned it.
GOD: Man, I wish I could’ve seen the look on his face! Was he scared? I bet he was. How scared was he?
MOSES: He seemed a little scared…he was definitely unsettled.
GOD: Good, good. Well, there’s more where that came from. I’ve got about nine other ideas.
MOSES: You could just kill him, right?
GOD: Picture this: frogs. Frogs everywhere.
MOSES: If you killed the Pharaoh, we could leave immediately. We’re already packed ...
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